A Silent Cry Deliver Me, I wanna be Free

Every year in the United States, more than 10 million men and women become victims of domestic violence, and more women lose their lives to intimate partner violence than any other means.

In the U.S. alone, more than 55 percent of murdered women are killed in relation to intimate partner violence, and nearly one million women have been shot by an intimate partner and have survived.

Incidents of domestic violence have shown a significant increase during COVID-19 – ”a pandemic within a pandemic. ” Every minute, about 20 people are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States.

Please seek The true God Jesus before agreeing to marry a man.

Abusers rarely change, maybe 10% changes and about 5% of the reformed relapse and are worse off than when they started unless something significantly impact their life, such as going to prison or the abused obtain skills to protect herself. And it is not real change that the abuser expresses, it is forced, that is, life events have to force the abuser to change. He then only changes after experiencing trauma for his bad behavior. He understands that he will have to re-adjust his attitude. Now he realizes he is faced with choices at that point. The choice to stay an abuser or a controller or to change himself to carry himself respectfully or behave with morals and ethics. And there is nothing a woman can do to change a man: he does what he does because he wants to. And for change to happen, he has to shift his position and thoughts in life to choose to respect the survivor, which is unlikely. Ask him to change and he says I won change for anyone, don ask him nicely and hell get mad and make you pay for it by behaving wildly like the bully he is, trying to understand him and praise him will only feed his ego and strengthen his behavior and he will treat you more disrespectful the next time.

If perpetrators did not face any negative repercussions for their belligerent attitudes and abusive behaviors in the past. They then believe they can always get away with it in the future. And will stay that way because they believe being abusive gets them what they want and if they are challenged, their excuses are accepted (e.g. blaming the behavior on alcohol use, stress, or being provoked by the victim). Somehow the abusive bully believes he don have to change really at all. All he has to do is say a few nice words to the victim and give the victim a small gift and he figures she will think he is finally coming around. He will exemplify an effort, but it is only an act.

He will plan to buy her flowers, dinner, and a gift for a few days. To make it look like he is trying to change. But it is a full-on premeditated act. He will then say to the victim, I will change, please don leave me all alone, by myself don you love me? I just need help. Please help me. You
e the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. Please don leave me. I love you and then show a form of compassion by giving her a hug. All of this is just a façade to get what he wants. Which is a VICTIM. One that he has already groomed and that is already trained to be his victim. I was told by one that he is a pimp. And thats how he sees himself toward women, as their pimp.

However, if he respected you enough to make changes, he would not have treated you badly in the first place. All abused individuals should remember that the ”good ” guy who shows up now and then is a role he plays for you, your family and friends: and the ”bad guy ” who shows up after a few months of the honeymoon is the real personality. He can remove the good guy personality, but he does not have the will power to change the real him. You can always remove a mask but not the real face.

The ”good ” person is him acting; the ”bad guy ” is the one you are actually married to. So, he never had any good plans for you. Abusers plan how they are going to treat you all while they are dating you. They say when I get her to marry me. I will have full control of the money, her, what she wears, where she goes, and her friends that I do not like will vanish. They plan how they will trap you. He will do everything he can to make ”YOU ” his victim and believe me you are not the only one he has done this to. What if you try to force him to change, threaten to leave, and seek outside help from your family or the court? Abusers are manipulators, and even if they admit they have a problem, they will still try to outwit the wiser ones in the system.

He, as usual, tries to revise the rules: you have to forgive him for his many abuses when he feels he has done enough to change (in fact, you can forgive and should leave him, no matter how persuasive he is). If you remain with a bully abuser he will always try to blame you for the abuse and pain he wreaks in your life, he will actually say I may not be right but I am never wrong, ”Im just different, and if you love me, you will change too, you need to help me, you need to be a better sympathetic person of how much Ive changed! ”

You need to meet me in the middle, he says. He can evolve from just an open attacker to a stealth attacker and develop a more sophisticated control scheme.

He will try to negotiate, ”Ill stop hurting you if you stop being friends with people who keep rejecting me ” (which is like dealing with an extremist, and you do not have to trade one violent behavior for another form of maltreatment). The friends reject him because they see how he is handling you roughly, with disrespect and makes him behave himself. He does not want anyone that can save the abuser from his violent behavior to be a part of the abusers life.

One tactic I have seen is that the abuser will say kind words to the victim but handle her rough and cruel physically. Then when he is confronted, he will say, when have I ever put you down or spoke to you harshly? Yet you have called me names. He will gaslight and try to move the conversation a way from his actions or how he have actually handled her abusively. In reality, she only spoke down to him because he had physically harmed her. Then he will turn it on her and say I harmed her because I lost my temper because she was insulting me. He will twist the whole event around.

When in reality, she insulted him because he was physically harming her. But he will say he physically harmed her because she insulted him. Which was not the true case. In reality it was the other way around. In any event no one has the right to put their hands on anyone because they spoke words to the individual.