Even If It’s Not Love

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“Do you have kimchi?”

Why did that question suddenly pop up in her mind?

“Yoo-hwa.”

Why did she keep remembering that all day long…

Yoo-hwa bit her lip firmly.
Her hands trembled.
Right now, she was in a situation where she was short of money.
The 100,000 won per month she received from the old lady was not enough to cover the monthly rent, and she was using up all the money she had.
But why was she standing there like this?

After thinking for a while, Yoo-hwa turned her head and headed towards the cash register.

“Do you have kimchi?”

Once again, Yoo-hwa tried to ignore the sound that she suddenly heard, followed by her name.

***

“Come out! Come out! You can’t take someone else’s money! You can’t, you bitch!”

Unlike usual, where all she could hear were cat noises, the multi-unit house was noisy.
Yoo-hwa’s steps stopped suddenly at the familiar shouts.
Without realizing it, her shoulders bent inwards.
The cold wind made her fingertips get even colder as she picked up the bag.
She grabbed the bag strap she had almost dropped even tighter.

“You bitch! You bitch!”

The old lady’s shouts echoed through the whole neighborhood.
Yoo-hwa turned around, feeling the urge to run away, and stopped.

She had nowhere to go.

The world was so wide that there were many more places that her feet could not reach even if she walked all her life, but she was saddened by the fact that there was no other place that welcomed her.

Yoo-hwa bit her lip.
It was one of Yoo-hwa’s habits that came out whenever she suppressed her rushing emotions.
As she slowly went inside, as expected, the old lady was sitting in front of her closed door and screaming.

It seemed that she had been screaming for a long time; her hair was messy, and a broken soju bottle was lying in front of her.
It looked like she had been drinking again.

When she was drunk, the old lady occasionally came to her and made a scene.
She didn’t know why her target had changed to her instead of the grandma, but she couldn’t report it.

For some reason, the police station had their doors locked for more time than they had them opened, and even if she met a police officer, they would not settle it.

It was a zone completely outside the law.

That was where she was, and that was her life.

“What’s wrong?”

Yoo-hwa stood in front of her and asked.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t hide her trembling voice.

Then, even in the darkness, she could see the old lady’s face, which had turned red.
She cried not because of sadness, but because of anger and cold.