I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin

“This is a mobile phone.
It can be used to communicate with people thousands of miles away and also order takeout.
Oh right, ‘takeout’ is having someone deliver food to you…”

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“These are instruction manuals to the home appliances.
Well, I also bought several children’s books from the mall.
I think you’ll need them.
Here’s a poster of one hundred Chinese characters.
You probably won’t be able to understand modern Chinese, do you…”

“Here are some clothes Xiao Luo and I bought.
These are canned food and snacks.”

“Oh right, there’s also this card! It’s under my name and there’s half a million yuan in it.
I know it’s a drop in the bucket compared to Liao Yue but just take it first.
The pin is …”

Lei Jie was teaching Wang Xiao Mie about the household items with motherly care and patience while Xiao Luo was showing Wen Feng Jin how to use the TV, refrigerator, washing machine, etc.

Wen Feng Jin half-closed his eyes and folded his arms, ignoring him in disinterest.

Of course, if it was Wang Xiao Mie doing the explanation, he would be happy to listen about all these strange items while cuddling with him.

But now?

The Dark Lord was staring at a sweating Xiao Luo who thought that his explanation was not good enough and had begun to redo the whole presentation.

Wen Feng Jin: Hmph.

Xiao Luo: ……. Is he looking down on me? Sob! It must be so!

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On the other side.

Wang Xiao Mie was nodding to Lei Jie, “Ok, I got it.” He took over the card and phones which he switched on with ease.
Lei Jie watched in astonishment as he began downloading apps.

‘Yo! He’s even having pesticides and chicken!’

(TN: I did not know this but strangely, these are slangs referring to when one plays the mobile games Honor of Kings and Battlegrounds respectively.)

If Lei Jie wasn’t looking, Wang Xiao Mie would’ve already logged on to his account and gone on a spending spree!

“You’re a quick learner!” Lei Jie praised him earnestly.

Wang Xiao Mie, who was originally from the modern era, smiled gleefully with pride, making Lei Jie forget the fact that he was actually a big dumpling and gave his head a gentle pat.

Although Wang Xiao Mie had a calm and mature appearance, his high spirited ways tended to make him seem like a silly little puppy, earning the trust and pampering of others.

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“You don’t have to worry about us.
We’ll get used to it soon, don’t underestimate the wisdom of the ancients,” Wang Xiao Mie said and Lei Jie smiled at him.

“Alright, you guys should rest up for today.
As for those…” She pointed to the parcel on the floor, “I will quickly deal with the treasures from the tomb.
Once I receive the money, I will transfer everything to your card.”

Wang Xiao Mie was stunned.
“Why?”

Lei Jie shrugged.
“You’ve already given me the Liao Yue Sword.
To me, it’s the greatest treasure of all.
I’m a swordsmith and would even be willing to give my life to find legendary weapons in underground tombs.
Now, not only did I get to see the treasure, but I also get to keep it.
It’s not good to be greedy lest you risk losing yourself.”

“Anyway, it’s never enough no matter how much I repay you,” Lei Jie patted Wang Xiao Mie on the shoulder, “To tell you the truth, I don’t think of you two as zombies or monsters.
I think we can be friends.
By the way, send my thanks to that guy over there regarding the sword.”

“Ok.” Wang Xiao Mie nodded.
Facing Lei Jie’s smile, Wang Xiao Mie could feel that there was still goodness in this world. 

There are good and bad people.
If fate permits, even if you live deep in darkness, these rays of light will still reach you.

Seeing his master gesturing to him, Xiao Luo, who was on the verge of tears having to talk to Wen Feng Jin, dashed out like he was running away from a fire.
Lei Jie grabbed the bag of treasures and waved goodbye to Wang Xiao Mie.

“We’ll be going then.
Call us if you need anything.
It’s that button.
And remember to charge your phone,” Lei Jie pointed at the charging cable and Wang Xiao Mie nodded. 

Before leaving with Xiao Luo, she looked at Wen Feng Jin standing behind Wang Xiao Mie and gave a humble nod to the tomb master who had maintained his noble demeanor from the moment they first met.

When the front gate closed, Wang Xiao Mie could finally loosen up.

His eyes twinkled as he jumped into Wen Feng Jin’s arms. 

“Weee! I finally have a phone! Ha ha ha.
I finally have the internet!!! I’m gonna play all the games I missed, watch all the anime I haven’t watched!”

“And I’ll order lots and lots of milk tea, hamburgers, Coke, fried chicken, shrimps, and there’s more! We have so much money now, we can travel all over the world, to places we’ve never seen before!”

The jubilant Wang Xiao Mie laid in Wen Feng Jin’s arms, chirping away excitedly with his arms around Wen Feng Jin’s neck and his legs swinging up and down.

Wen Feng Jin was holding on to his butt, smiling with him.

“Oh but wait, I almost forgot to ask, can I even eat those?” Wang Xiao Mie lowered his head and asked Wen Feng Jin, looking like a puppy waiting for a snack.
And Wen Feng Jin felt like he could even see the imaginary pair of ears drooping, were he to say ‘no’.

“You can,” said Wen Feng Jin.

Instantly, the pair of expectant eyes sparkled and the non-existent ears stood up.
If he had a tail, it would have shook like a propeller and carried him off into the sky. 

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Wang Xiao Mie let go of Wen Feng Jin’s neck and shook his hips in a hysterical laugh then went back to his phone and frenziedly tapped the screen to order his food.

“Milk tea, fried chicken, Coke, shrimps, burger! Miee heh heh heh— Wan wan wan!”

Carrying Wang Xiao Mie in this position, Wen Feng Jin had full access to his sprightly little butt.
He did not know what those dishes were but seeing Wang Xiao Mie’s joy, he couldn’t help but smile with him.

“Xiao Mie, no barking.”

“Wan wan wan.”

“Hm hm…” Wen Feng Jin let out a hoarse and sexy chuckle. 

He looked at his surroundings– the buildings, the cars, the weird appliances, they were largely different from where he came from. 

But having this little mad man in his arms, everything was a lot easier to adapt to.

And of course, there was no way Wen Feng Jin could get used to all this at once.
Even Captain America felt out of place after sleeping for seventy years, what’s that compared to Wen Feng Jin staying underground for over a thousand years?

On the way here, Wang Xiao Mie looked at the flow of traffic and referred to themselves as two ancient relics that were just unearthed.
That sentence could not have been more apt!

…..

That night, Wang Xiao Mie took a bath with Wen Feng Jin simply because he was worried Wen Feng Jin would not know how to turn on the hot water.
When they were together in the bathroom, Wen Feng Jin saw his butt naked little dumpling and was tempted to do something.
Just as he reached out…

A purple shower gel was squeezed into his palm.

Wen Feng Jin: “……What is this?”

Wang Xiao Mie: “Hm? Didn’t you want some soap? Or did you want shampoo?”

Wen Feng Jin: “…..”

“Oh, I get it!” Thinking that he knew what his hubby wanted, Wang Xiao Mie changed their position.
He sat behind Wen Feng Jin and had him lean back against his chest.
He then chucked half a bottle of shampoo onto his head.
“You don’t know how to use shampoo, do you? It’s very easy to use, I’ll show you this time.”

With that, he held down Wen Feng Jin’s head and scrubbed vigorously.

Wen Feng Jin sighed as foam covered up his face.

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“Ai! Don’t lower your head.
The foam will get in your eyes,” as soon as he said that, Wen Feng Jin felt a stabbing pain in his left eye.
The fragrance and irritation made him close his left eye.

With his right eye, he saw Wang Xiao Mie frantically go to take a towel and gently wipe his left eye. 

In the steamy atmosphere, Wang Xiao Mie became flustered after he cleaned off the white foam because there was not a trace of displeasure on that beautiful yet domineering face.
The one eye that could open was looking up at him with immeasurable adoration.

Despite how much it hurt, he believed this person would always look at him the same way.

“…..”

Wang Xiao Mie lowered his head, puckered his lips, and placed them on Wen Feng Jin’s.

Under the hazy and aromatic vapor, they nibbled as the plump and soft lips touched and when they separated, it left an enchanting aftertaste… 

And …

Wondrous sweetness.

Wang Xiao Mie raised his head and covered his face but he was not able to hide his flushing red ears.
Wen Feng Jin hooked his lips and closed his eyes.
He leaned on his lover’s belly and let go of his guard, showing his vulnerability.

‘This is already a dream fulfilled.
If I can be by his side, this is satisfactory…… But I can’t help but be greedy,’ Wen Feng Jin thought as his hands reached into the water, causing a splash along the edge of the bathtub.

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After washing, Wang Xiao Mie made Wen Feng Jin change into nightgowns before he excitedly brought him to the table full of his favorite food that he had ordered.

Wen Feng Jin frowned at the excessive and overbearing smell.

In fact, since ancient times, people were already health-conscious about what they ate.
Wen Feng Jin normally had a very light diet with no oil and minimal salt.
Luckily, he did not require food to survive and hence, put down his chopsticks after only a few bites.

Wang Xiao Mie who was immersed in his little world of delicious food did not notice.
After filling his stomach, he shifted his attention to his phone.
He wanted to listen to music, play games, watch movies, etc.

He just wished he could split himself up and plunge into these addictions.

Time passed and Wang Xiao Mie who was still deeply engrossed in his game suddenly had his eyes covered.
He screamed in surprise.
When he turned back, he saw Wen Feng Jin looking at him with a gloomy expression.

Initially, he had an urge to lash out.
But when he saw Wen Feng Jin’s ice-cold stare, he completely erased that thought and asked in a softer tone, “What, what is it?”

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“It’s late.”

Boss Wen was looking at him with a stern face.

Wang Xiao Mie sobered up and looked out the window.
The sky was pitch black and the room had turned dark.
He was lying in the coffin not knowing how or when he got in.
He looked at the time and gosh, it was almost morning! Only then did he realize that his phone was hot and almost out of battery.

And worst of all, he was so addicted to the game that he had completely ignored Wen Feng Jin…

He looked at the man carrying the scary expression on his face and felt somewhat guilty.
He went back to society and, like a fish in water, got carried away doing his own things while leaving out Wen Feng Jin who had come here for the first time.
And he even patiently sat by his side all this time…

Thinking back, Wen Feng Jin did not eat much at dinner either.
The taste was probably not to his liking…

Wang Xiao Mie’s guilt was multiplying.

He placed the phone on the floor outside the coffin– which they had decided to put inside a study with a spacious balcony and french windows.

“I was wrong…” Wang Xiao Mie pursed his lips.
He lowered his head but kept his puppy eyes looking up at Wen Feng Jin, doing his best to sell meng, “Are you angry with mieee?”

Wen Feng Jin was still sulking and refused to speak, clearly indicating that he was angry.
He glared at the thing called ‘phone’ and his likeability of it was now a perfect zero!

Wang Xiao Mie bumped his head into Wen Feng Jin’s chest and lightly rubbed back and forth.

“I was wrong.
I was wrong, I was wrong…”

Wen Feng Jin’s wooden face did not last even a minute before he finally smiled.

The little dumpling caught it and giggled back at him.
His hair now resembled a chicken coop due to the rubbing which he continued to shamelessly do against Wen Feng Jin’s neck and face.

Eventually, the misbehaving head was held down by Wen Feng Jin.
He curled his finger and gave his forehead a knock.
Smiling, he said, “Alright, it’s time to sleep.”

“Ok!”

Wang Xiao Mie settled down in the coffin and clung to Wen Feng Jin like a bug.
As he took in the bitter medicinal fragrance from his body, his perverse hands slipped into his clothes and nestled on Wen Feng Jin’s chest.

With his memories restored, the invisible barrier between them had disappeared completely.
The two of them now shared a mutual understanding like that of an old couple.

They hugged each other and fell into a dreamless slumber.