I and My Husband Sleep in a Coffin

Edited and Proofread by KitKat

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The next day, Wang Xiao Mie, who had thought that things would only get better from here, realized that he was being too optimistic.

The reasons were as follows: 

Wang Xiao Mie: “Today, we’ll be learning how to integrate into modern society.
The times now are not like what it was back in the Northern Empire.
We have peace and security.
We don’t have to worry that something will happen, the most would be someone stepping on your feet on a crowded bus or getting into a fight with a drunkard on the roadside.”

Wen Feng Jin: ￣へ￣

Wang Xiao Mie: “Of course there would be occasional emergencies like your handphone being snatched.
When that happens, Feng Jin, promise me to stay out of it.
One slap from you can split his skull and give the bystander a view of his brain.”

Wen Feng Jin: ￣へ￣

Wang Xiao Mie: “Also, we have to keep our abilities hidden! And we have to do good deeds! In order to prevent something like the system from appearing again, we must not kill people.
En, if we see someone in trouble, the right thing to do is call the police.

Wen Feng Jin: ￣へ￣

“What’s that look you have? What exactly do you want to say?!!” Wang Xiao Mie, who could no longer tolerate him, slammed his fists on the table in anger.

Wen Feng Jin thought a while then said, “No killing.
When there’s trouble, call the police.
I understand.”

Wang Xiao Mie twitched his eyebrows in suspicion, “You really understood?”

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And hence…

At the mall…

Donning a black coat with a pair of jeans, a man with sharp and handsome features and long silver hair tied into a ponytail was standing in the center of a screaming crowd and snapping photos of him. 

He frowned and pulled a handphone from his pocket.

“Hello, is this the police?”

Wang Xiao Mie: “…..”

“Brother, are you cosplaying? Brother, do you have Weibo? AH so handsome!”

“Is that your real hair? Oh my god, it’s too pretty!”

“Brother, where are you from? What are you both cosplaying as? Wah! They’re holding hands!!!!”

Wen Feng Jin was very displeased but when he was about to make a move, he remembered Wang Xiao Mie’s words and endured.
He was about to grab him and leave when the crowd began to scream loudly again.

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Wang Xiao Mie: “…..”

A few girls were staring at Wen Feng Jin and sipping back their saliva.

The man’s face and white hair were just too attractive!

And when the group of girls saw them holding hands, a certain ‘I’ll pay money to see them get married’ thought started creeping into their heads.

They kept taking photos of the pair and followed behind them.
Even people who were there for a celebrity’s event joined the group of girls and some even took videos.

As the crowd got larger, Wang Xiao Mie had to give up his shopping plan and walked a long way with Wen Feng Jin to throw off the crowd.

Passersby who saw them wanted to snap a photo as well but one look at Wen Feng Jin’s ‘I will split your skull open’ expression, they restrained themselves.

When they reached home, Wen Feng Jin still had a scowl on his face.
He asked, “Why did those women attack me?”

Wang Xiao Mie laughed at his distorted expression and said, “Hahah, that’s not attacking you.
They just think that you’re super good-looking and wanted to know more about you.
Being photographed and asking for your WeChat are all expressions of admiration.
You should be happy about it, ordinary people don’t get that treatment.” 

If you were stopped by a girl trying to get your number, you could brag about it for the whole of your college years!

However, the failure to do any shopping also made Wang Xiao Mie realize one thing – 

Even in regular clothing, they were still too eye-catching.

They could cover their faces with sunglasses but someone who could even make a black coat and jeans look classy like Wen Feng Jin would only get a boost in appearance by putting on sunglasses.

And so, in the evening, Wang Xiao Mie took out a pair of scissors and said to Wen Feng Jin, “Let’s cut our hair short!”

“Our body is given to us by our parents.
Cutting off our hair is akin to decapitation.
I’m not cutting and I won’t allow you to either.”

“…”

Never had Wang Xiao Mie seen Wen Feng Jin as an ancient person more than at this moment.
In ancient times, cutting off one’s hair was an act of humiliation towards that person.
No one did that even in death.

“Unless I die, I won’t let anyone cut your hair, that includes yourself.” The dark black pupils burned with a fiery dominance.
Wen Feng Jin locked his eyes onto Wang Xiao Mie and grabbed vigorously at the pair of scissors in his hand.

Wang Xiao Mie had no choice but to let Wen Feng Jin take the scissors away and let this strangely stubborn man hug him and stroke his long dark hair. 

Wen Feng Jin then kissed the top of his head.

“Getting a haircut is a very common thing.
Didn’t you see all the men on the street have short hair…” Wang Xiao Mie mumbled.

“I don’t agree.
Furthermore, they are not the person I care about.” Wen Feng Jin repeated in a threatening tone, “You’re not allowed to cut your hair or let anyone else touch it.
Otherwise, I won’t hesitate to do something to them.”

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“….” Wang Xiao Mie was still unconvinced but there was a small sense of joy, seeing how the man said he cared for him.

Wang Xiao Mie condemned himself for being soft-hearted even as he snuggled his nose into the man’s neck, taking in the bitter fragrance emitted by him.

“Do you understand?” Wen Feng Jin frowned as he continued stroking his hair.

“I got it!” Wang Xiao Mie exclaimed, “Tyrant!”

Wen Feng Jin stayed silent even after being called a tyrant.

And so, their first outing was a complete failure.
They stayed at home for the next two days.
During which, Wen Feng Jin studied modern Chinese, traffic rules, how to use money, etc.

Lei Jie called and asked how they were adapting and also informed them that the items had been auctioned and the money would be transferred to them in the afternoon.

To celebrate, Wang Xiao Mie searched for the best restaurant on his phone and planned to take Wen Feng Jin there.

Before leaving, he had also written down the important phone numbers in a pocketbook for Wen Feng Jin to take with him.

When everything was ready, they left with masks covering their faces.

But…

With Wen Feng Jin’s distinctive eyebrows and long silver locks, they were still being photographed by passersby thinking that they were some famous celebrities or cosplayers.

Fortunately, this time their destination was a high-end restaurant rather than the mall.
The crowd behind them scattered as soon as they entered the building.

This restaurant had private cubicles for each table and the service was exceptional.
Even Wen Feng Jin’s appearance did not attract unnecessary looks from the waiters.

A young waitress in uniform came to greet them, “Welcome.
Would you like a table for two? Do you have a reservation?”

“Yes.” Wang Xiao Mie showed her his reservation on his mobile.

The waitress confirmed his reservation and brought them to a private room upstairs where Wang Xiao Mie ordered the dishes with great enthusiasm. 

After the waitress left, Wang Xiao Mie pulled off his mask and breathed.

Wen Feng Jin did the same and although he was still silent, his mood had improved a lot.

“It is said on the internet that the food here is light and the ingredients are always fresh.
Their vegetable and meatball soup is a must-try! And the bass is also recommended by many!”

“As long as you like it.”

After the scuffle with Yan Chun, Wang Xiao Mie’s body had become more alive, just like Wen Feng Jin’s.
As the weather had gotten hotter, he was even sweating.

Wen Feng Jin saw the droplets on his nose and gently wiped them off for him. 

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“Is it very hot?”

“En.
It is in the beginning.
After all, I’m keeping this long hair in such weather.” Wang Xiao Mie used his sleeve to wipe his forehead.
He looked up and said, “This room has air-conditioning, it should get cooler in a bit.” 

“I’m going to the washroom, you coming?”

Wen Feng Jin shook his head.

Wang Xiao Mie went to the toilet alone.
He washed his hands and face with cool water and when he was trying to pull out a tissue from the dispenser, someone patted him on the back.

Wang Xiao Mie had water in his eyes and could only squint while turning back to look at the person.
He saw a blurry silhouette of a man waving to him apologetically, “I’m so sorry.
I saw you have long hair and thought it was a girl who had entered the wrong toilet.
Haha, my apologies.”

“Oh, it’s alright.” Wang Xiao Mie wiped his face and did not think much of it.
Men with such long hair were rare and easily mistaken.

After returning to the table, he sat lazily next to Wen Feng Jin and began to dig in.
He picked up the chopsticks and grabbed at the food.

Wen Feng Jin suddenly pinched at a small piece of his clothes on the shoulder.
He frowned and said, “Who did you meet just now?”

“What?” Wang Xiao Mie had just bitten into a piece of fried shrimp and the tail was sticking out his mouth as he talked.

Wen Feng Jin looked at the funny picture and smiled.
He loosened his clothes and flicked the spot with his fingers like sweeping away dust.

“It’s nothing, we’ll talk about it when you’re done eating.”

The ignorant Wang Xiao Mie continued stuffing his mouth with food but he did not forget to serve Wen Feng Jin as well.

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After they were done with the meal, Wen Feng Jin picked up the teapot and poured it into a cup.
He handed it to Wang Xiao Mie and said, “Someone wants to keep track of you.”

Wang Xiao Mie was stunned.

“Ha? Track me? Why?!”

“I’m not sure.
This is not done by someone ordinary, but he’s also not difficult to deal with.” Wen Feng Jin sipped his tea, “He probably sensed something different about you and wanted to make sure.”

Wang Xiao Mie widened his eyes, “Is it a demon hunter? Did he discover that I’m a big dumpling?!”

“No, there’s no such thing as a demon hunter.” Wen Feng Jin laughed, “They’re all craftsmen with peculiar skills.
I’ve already broken his tool.
When we leave tonight, he will definitely follow.”

Wang Xiao Mie’s fear was increasing, “They all do this?”

Wen Feng Jin smirked, “Yes.
They all lack intelligence.”

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“…..”

Wang Xiao Mie did not expect that they would be discovered so soon.
His butt couldn’t stay seated on the chair and his fingers were curled up.
The word ‘scared’ was clearly labeled over his face.

Like a scaredy-cat, Wang Xiao Mie just wanted to nestle into Wen Feng Jin’s arms.

And hence, Wang Xiao Mie was in a cold sweat all the way till night time.
When they left the restaurant, he had held tightly onto Wen Feng Jin’s hand and kept turning his head like an owl to see if anyone was following them.

Seeing his frightened appearance, Wen Feng Jin was secretly smiling.

Once they entered a small alley, Wen Feng Jin patted Wang Xiao Mie’s head and turned around.

“Alright, here he comes.”

“W, What?” Wang Xiao Mie stared unblinkingly at the alley entrance.

Just as his words landed, a silhouette appeared against the light.
Wang Xiao Mie realized that he was the man he had met at the washroom. 

The man narrowed his eyes and he had something in his hand. 

He suddenly laughed, “Hmph! A strange scent emits from you two, I’m sure you’re not simple humans.
I’m a true disciple of the Zheng Jing Ba Ben, you’d better surrender obediently!”

Wang Xiao Mie who had never been exposed to such things was shivering while Wen Feng Jin only sneered.

When the man heard his sarcastic smile, he turned red and took out a small black iron pestle and began to perform a ritual.

“Ho! Shining White Crane’s Wings!”

“Ho! Black Tiger’s Heart!”

“Ho! Great Hawk Wings Spreading!”

He made a final pose and yelled, “Hah! Die!”

The man charged at them.
Wen Feng Jin pushed Wang Xiao Mie to one side and slightly lifted his leg.

Swish

The moment his leg moved, the man coming at them screamed as he was tossed into the air.
After spinning 360 degrees, he landed straight into the trash can.

Wang Xiao Mie: “…”

Wen Feng Jin: “All bark and no bite.”