Married Thrice to Salted Fish

who could sit in Zichen Palace was the Empress Dowager who was holding court behind the curtain.

Gu Fuzhou smiled and said, “That would be an unjust accusation.
Being an emperor is a difficult job and I have no interest in it.”

Gu Fuzhou’s words were funny.
Lin Qingyu wanted to smile like usual but he couldn’t bring himself to smile.
He asked, “You saw the report from the Northwest.”

Gu Fuzhou nodded and sighed, “What should I do, Qingyu? This time, it seems I really have to go.” 

The word “not necessarily” stuck in Lin Qingyu’s throat; he was unable to come out with these words.

“For the past few days, the entire court has been criticizing me.
General Wu came looking for me yesterday.
Carried away by his emotions, he pointed at me and scolded me for being a coward — it was completely laughable.” Saying so, Gu Fuzhou actually laughed out loud, as if this entire matter was absolutely ridiculous.
“Although, I had been digging my own grave, but to get Wu Zhan so riled up like this, someone must be have been adding oil and vinegar.”

Lin Qingyu had also come to the same conclusion.
“Indeed.”

“No matter who it is, his goal has been achieved.
If I don’t go to the Northwest, I will gradually lose the court’s goodwill.
How can those hot-blooded men still serve me in the future? A general who doesn’t wish to go the battlefield, without any prestige in the army, he would be unable to protect even his own wife.” Gu Fuzhou pressed the space between his eyebrows.
“Now, Xixia is threatening the lives of the people of Yong Liang.
– It so annoying.” 

Lin Qingyu listened to Gu Fuzhou in silence.
He said, “So, you want to go.”

Gu Fuzhou said, “It’s not that I want to go, it’s that I have to go.”

Lin Qingyu said indifferently, “You really care about the people.”

“Because you’re also a member of ‘the people’.” Gu Fuzhou didn’t hesitate, “By protecting them, I am also protecting you.” 

Lin Qingyu lowered his eyes slowly and whispered, “I don’t want your protection and I don’t want to be a saint who cares about the common people.
I just want to be with you.”

Gu Fuzhou explained patiently, “How many of the Xixia has General Gu struck down? Xixia is obviously coming for me this time.
Xixia must be completely defeated.
I can hide for a time but I can’t hide forever.”

Lin Qingyu sarcastically said, “Are you really stating the obvious to me as well?”

“I’m not…” 

Lin Qingyu interrupted him coldly, “Have you ever thought about it? Just what am I supposed to do if you meet the unexpected?”

Gu Fuzhou was stunned.

Lin Qingyu’s voice trembled slightly, “On that snowy night two years ago, I knelt in front of your wheelchair and watched as you died.
I felt your hand slowly grow cold in mine.
Back then, not knowing my feelings, I managed to endure the pain of losing my husband.
But now, if I have to go through that again…”

Gu Fuzhou’s Adam’s apple bobbed.
He said, voice hoarse, “Qingyu…” 

“It’s not the losing that is scary.
What’s scary is to getting you back and losing you again.” Lin Qingyu looked at his hands and murmured, “This is too cruel even for me.”

Gu Fuzhou said in a low voice, “I’m sorry, Qingyu.
But this time, I will definitely try my very best to come back.
Look, I’ll even written you a letter of guarantee.”

Lin Qingyu said indifferently, “Back then, didn’t you also try your hardest to live longer? And what was the result? Before you died, you even apologized to me; you said sorry to me, saying that you’ve worked hard, but you couldn’t hold on until the day Xiao Cheng died – Have you forgotten all this?”

“I hadn’t forgotten.
But I was so sick at the time that doing my best was no use.
But it’s different now.
I have a healthy body and with hard work, I’ll be able to perform miracles.” Gu Fuzhou smiled, “Beside, Qingyu, I haven’t even set off yet.
It’s unlucky to be overthinking things like this.” 

Lin Qingyu couldn’t help but ask, “Are you really not worried at all?”

Gu Fuzhou thought about it and said, “Actually, I am a little scared.”

Lin Qingyu stared at him.

“I’m scared of not doing well and that people who trust me might die because of my wrong decisions.
I’m afraid of being tired, of being in pain.
And I hate the taste of losing.
But more that all that, I’m afraid–…” The voice stopped abruptly.
The words reached Gu Fuzhou’s lips, but he swallowed them back down.
He said leisurely, “That’s why a person like me could never be the protagonist.” 

Lin Qingyu knew that Gu Fuzhou was using his same old routine to try to coax him, trying to ease the atmosphere.
But Lin Qingyu couldn’t help but to follow his words and ask, “Why do you say this?”

“Because a story’s male protagonist is either somoene very powerful and can easily crush his opponents, or someone who has a pure heart, who despite knowing he can’t do something, does it nonetheless.
And I,” Gu Fuzhou spread his hands, “I don’t have any great strength.
I’m lazy and a coward.
It’s no wonder I could only transmigrate to supporting roles in a book.”

“You’re wrong.” Lin Qingyu said, “Lu Wancheng, Gu Fuzhou, they may be supporting roles.
But when you came, they became the protagonists.”

Gu Fuzhou’s eyes filled with a smile.
“You’re getting pretty good at that, Doctor Lin.
But you are also wrong.
It is because I managed to find my way to your side, basking in the light of the Great Beauty, that Lu Wancheng and Gu Fuzhou became the book’s protagonist.
Qingyu, do you still remember, what is a protagonist?” 

Lin Qingyu repeated what Gu Fuzhou once said, word for word,  “The so-called ‘protagonist’ is the one who no matter how many glits and flashes of swords and daggers, how much foul wind and bloody rain he has experienced, no matter if its during the moment he crawls out of the quagmire, he will always be the most dazzling one.”

Gu Fuzhou snapped his fingers and said in a relaxed tone, “That’s right.
Xiao Cheng is dead.
We’ve replaced him as the protagonist.
Now, we’re the ones with the protagonist’s halo.
So, we won’t die so easily.”

Lin Qingyu couldn’t agree with this statement.
He was silent for a moment.
Then suddenly, he looked at Gu Fuzhou and said, “Xu Junyuan.”

Gu Fuzhou said, “Qingyu, have you gone crazy? I’m your husband, not Xu Junyuan.” 

Lin Qingyu was in a rare state of impatience.
“In those days, it was Xu Junyuan who used your Eight Characters to figure out whether you were destined to die.
We can ask him to do a divination to see whether you will emerge victorious and return safely to the capital.”

Gu Fuzhou said “Oh”.
He seemed to think it was useless to consult with Xu Junyuan, but in order not to spoil Lin Qingyu’s happiness, he said nonetheless, “That makes sense.”

Lin Qingyu immediately said, “It’s not too late now.
I’ll order someone to prepare the carriage.”

Gu Fuzhou smiled and said, “You and I are both powerful ministers.
Why would you need to go to Changsheng Temple to find him? — Have him come.
Call Xu Junyuan to the palace, say the Emperor wishes to see him.”