Chapter 58 – The Utter Loneliness

Honestly, Yiyoung had never expected Dr.
Kang to be such a sly person.
She had genuinely thought of him as a nice person, but she finally witnessed his true nature today.

“I’m so fed up… I can’t do this anymore.
This is nasty,” she muttered to herself.

“What?”

Yiyoung’s scathing words tore into him, “Then, keep snatching everything from us poor people.
Rich b*stards like you are the greediest in this world.”

“Dr.
Yoon!” he snapped.

“Do what you want.
This poor person will go away now, to work andsl*ve away only to gain nothing.” She lifted the tray filled with coffee cups and walked toward the ER. 

Suddenly, warm liquid dripped from her nose down to her philtrum.
Ah, her nose was bleeding. ‘Damn it, what a mess.’

She had to hold the tray with both hands, so she couldn’t hide her nosebleed from others.
Still, she tried to conceal it by hanging her head low as she walked into the ER. 

“Dr.
Yoon!” The nurses who spotted her ran to her side immediately.
They took the tray from her hands, and blocked her nose with a gauze and put pressure on it.

“It’s okay! It’ll be fine once I cauterize the vein.” Yiyoung tried to laugh it off, but it was of no use.

The chief nurse came over and forced her to sit on one of the beds.
“This won’t work.
Let’s put her on IV.” 

Yiyoung had known something like this would happen after working days of overnight shifts trying to cover for other people.
She clicked her tongue as she thought about the state she had put herself in.
The other doctors probably hadn’t expected Yiyoung to agree to their requests.
However, the moment they realized that she would say yes to them, they started taking advantage of her kindness, and the requests started piling up like crazy.

Yiyoung gently pushed the nurse’s hand away.
“It’s okay.
Just a bloody nose.
I’ll cauterize it as soon as possible.”

“No, it’s not.
If you’re in a hurry, I can come back soon to take you off the IV.”

As a doctor was responsible for other patients’ lives at the ER, Yiyoung believed she could not accept the offer.
So she firmly denied the helping hand.
“It’s really alright.”

The chief nurse was experienced.
She was quick to notice the change in Yiyoung’s tone.
“Okay, then we’ll just check the bleeding.”

“Thank you.”

“Not a problem.”

Suddenly, Dr.
Kang showed up at the ER with a big smile.
“Please enjoy the coffee, I hope it cheers you up! I chipped in as well.”

He remained oblivious to Yiyoung’s presence.
And of course, he didn’t specify that he had only paid 50 cents.
His behavior summed up his personality.
He simply could not let go of any opportunity to gain an edge over Yiyoung. 

Nobody was aware of his true personality. ‘And even if they knew… Nevermind,’ she thought. 

Yiyoung’s sunken eyes were filled with disappointment toward others.

* * * 

Yiyoung dragged her heavy body inside her house, only for silence to greet her.
She took off her shoes and observed the huge house for a moment, taking in the silence permeating the air.
Her body shook as the realization that she was all alone sunk into her.

Barely managing to get herself to the bedroom, Yiyoung took a shower and changed into comfortable clothes before going out to the kitchen.
The spotless kitchen welcomed her with its overly clean surface, which were so slippery that even a fly would slip on them. 

As she stared at the kitchen, tears pooled in her eyes.
But she could not understand what it was about the kitchen that was making her cry.
Face messy from the tears, she looked around the house and finally realized what was making her feel so empty inside. 

When she was living on her own, she had expected to come home to an empty house every night, so she never felt lonely. But she was now living with someone else.
She appreciated even the briefest of moments they spent together, even if they were merely passing by each other.
So whenever she was alone now, loneliness hit her like a truck. 

She hadn’t expected to learn what loneliness felt like before even understanding what it meant to live with someone else.
She was missing another human being, and the feeling of being with someone else in a shared space.
The brief encounters she had had with Muyeol floated to her mind.

She couldn’t believe she was crying over something like this, but the tears didn’t stop falling.
Barely able to calm down, she pressed her eyes with both hands.
After multiple attempts, she was able to stop.

She sniffled as she opened the fridge to find it filled with all kinds of food.
They were all cooked so they could be conveniently microwaved, but Yiyoung didn’t want to do that.
She kept staring at them blankly, only realizing that she had left it open for too long when the fridge beeped.
She closed the door and walked back to her bedroom before climbing into her bed.

Exhaustion made her eyelids heavy, and for some reason, she felt like her eyes were burning.
She needed more sleep, but it didn’t come to her.

30 minutes later, Yiyoung was back in the kitchen to grab a can of beer.
Since she was unable to sleep naturally, she resorted to her sleeping aid.
The beer gurgled loudly as she poured it into the cup.
Her throat burned slightly as took a sip of the pungent liquid.
Then, she downed the entire cup in one go, hoping it would help her fall asleep.

She grabbed another can, assuming she would be able to sleep like a baby after this one.
The alcohol loosened her stiff body, and she realized just how good alcohol worked for her as a sleeping aid.
Yet, even as her body continued to relax, the sadness in her mind kept accumulating.

A curse ripped out of her mouth as she recalled Dr.
Kang’s lecture on the benefits of having a good family background.
Well, she had someone to support her, too! It was just that she had decided not to use it.
Besides… It seemed like Muyeol wouldn’t be interested in helping her anyway.

All of a sudden, she was gripped with curiosity.
Was Muyeol still alive? She berated herself for being crazy enough to think about him.
Yet, she found herself grabbing the phone from her bedroom and returning to the kitchen. 

With a silly smile, her drunken self dialed his phone number.