Episode 68: Happy Birthday (VII)

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“Well, that’s…”

Her lips, clumsy at lying, could not find a proper answer.
He simply clutched her chin, while she just stood there helplessly.

Her embarrassment that she was caught lying burned up all her courage.

How the hell did she have the courage to bring him to her bedroom?

‘How dare I tell him.’

“For what purpose do you want to ask me to bring you to your bedroom, telling such lies.”

“……That.”

His clean lips curled as if he knew everything.

“After taking you to the bedroom.”

“…….”

“What should I do with you?”

It was a scrutinizing look.

Yuria shut her eyes tightly, feeling like she had been exposed to the desperation and vulgarity of trying to seduce with her body.

“Open your eyes.”

“!”

But even her trembling face did not stop this cold-hearted man.

Inevitably, Rixus’ indifferent expression was caught in her eyes, and her heart had no choice but to call;

‘Oh my…’

Even in the midst of this, Yuria’s heart was accelerating, because his face was so close to hers, and she hated herself a little.

“Your Highness the Crown Prince, I…”

“Did you want me to lie down with you? In your bed.”

She would rather have passed out on this spot, Yuria thought.
She bit her lips.

His callused, long finger tucked her hair behind her crimson earlobes.

“But what should I do…”

Could a friendly voice sound so cruel?

“Not at all.
I don’t think so.”

“!”

A disgracefully blatant refusal briefly led to cognitive dissonance.

Did he just say that he didn’t agree?

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All her life, she had only men who were courting her.

So, it was the first time she had encountered such a situation, and it was something she had never even imagined.

With her pride in the mud, Yuria belatedly realized exactly what he was saying and her whole body turned red.

She was so embarrassed and ashamed.

“Yuria Mavis.”

“Yes… Your Highness the Crown Prince…”

It was almost a crawling voice.

Rixus said, looking down at her with a frigid air.

“The reason I saved you a long time ago wasn’t because you’re special.”

“……”

“So, don’t come to me with a weird misunderstanding.”

Those were words that shattered her delusion at once.

Yuria’s illusion that Rixus had thought of her as a little bit special.

It was a ‘weird misunderstanding’, and in a situation like this where she was treated like a strange woman, Yuria wanted to disappear from this place right away even if she were to go through the ground.

“Answer me.”

“……Yes…….”

Yuria replied, her body trembling.

“And don’t touch the body of an imperial again.”

“……”

“Answer.”

There was a cry in her voice.

“…Yes… Your Highness.”

Only after her repeated confirmation did Rixus let her go.

Then he beckoned the maid, who had been standing at the end of the hallway restlessly since a while ago, and ordered.

“The lady is injured, so take her to her bedroom.”

As they passed through the hallway, while Rixus ruthlessly disappeared, Yuria collapsed in her place.

“My lady!”

* * *

“Let’s talk for a moment.
Follow me.”

I summoned the margrave to an empty place.

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It was a little bit burdensome to receive that hideous gaze by myself.

“……”

Looking at those eyes, where misunderstandings about me were piled up like a mountain, I felt like I had to smash the mountain with my bare hands and destroy it.

But I knew how to deal with the opponent without shaking in these situations.

With an upright posture and unwavering eyes, I looked at him and asked,

“Margrave, I heard that you voted ‘against’ regarding the marriage permit.”

“…The results of the voting should be kept secret, but it is very regrettable that you are already using a shortcut.”

From the very first word, hostility toward me was overflowing.

I did not panic and smiled casually.

“Please accept it as my earnestness for this marriage.”

“Do you love the Crown Prince?”

“……What?”

However, I couldn’t help but be puzzled by the emotional question posed by a middle-aged man with mostly gray hair.

“My niece asked a question like this, and I was told you didn’t answer.”

It was a story he might have heard from Yuria or the other nobles.

“Can you answer me?”

Perhaps it was a pretty important issue for him.

Well… If it was a marriage that was made out of love, it was probably worth considering.

Some people could endure even a hellish situation with just the emotion of ‘love’.

‘Do you love Rixus?’

I could answer absolutely no, but for some reason my heart ached to say that.

To me, Rixus was a scary nemesis.
The man who killed me countless times.

On the other hand, he made me want to erase the burn marks made from remaining lonely and hurting.

For the rest of my life, I also wanted to become a candy in the mouth of the poor boy who lived without knowing the sweetness at all.

The lips I encountered were thrilling, and it even made my heart numb… 

But when I thought of the future without promises, a cold mid-winter wind blew in the depths of my heart.

I was someone who was confident that I would be able to leave him relentlessly, but somehow wanted to look back.

I was sure I had forgotten about him, but in fact I never forgot.

What should I call this complex and diverse vortex of emotions?

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“No.”

‘Maybe this isn’t love.’

I could have said that it was true, but somehow I didn’t like it.

I felt like I couldn’t do that to Rixus.

“It’s not a marriage made out of love.”

I didn’t want to lie to him, who was sincere at every moment, even behind his back.

“As you know, the Crown Prince and I are having a marriage close to necessity.”

“…You didn’t lie to convince me.”

Even as he said that, the margrave didn’t look softened at all.

“Isn’t it funny to say I love him when I’ve just met the Crown Prince?”

“Lovers who fit well enough to get married sometimes fall in love at first sight.”

“Like you and your wife, Margrave?”

“!”

In an instant, the margrave’s eyebrows contorted noticeably.

Rustle–

I took a step closer and brought my gaze closer to him.

Before I knew it, the margrave was defensively staring at me in the eyes.

His eyes changed when the story of his wife came out.

“My wife….”

“Didn’t you love her? Although your marriage was the worst?”

I retorted sharply.

“A man who does not love his wife sets fire to the whole island to avenge his dead wife.”

“Your majesty!”

“You must have fallen in love with your Deltian wife at first sight.”

I said quietly, as if peering into his abyss.

“That must be the reason why you chose a wife from a different status and origin.”

“….…”

The margrave’s iron-wall-like eyes trembled.

In the original story, he fell in love with his wife from their very first meeting.

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Even though he was situated at the borders, he had money, status, and was even from a distinguished ducal family, and everyone objected that he should not take a barbarian wife.

However, despite all the opposition, the margrave came out as a man who pushed ahead and eventually married her.

‘The reason I remember this is…’

Because their episodes were so impressive.

‘I was in tears while reading it…’

In their youth as newlyweds, they were passionately in love.
It was difficult to imagine from his current appearance of a dry old man, but in his youthful days, he had an intense love.

In particular, I was impressed by the fact that he learned the Deltian language, confessed in his wife’s language, and swore eternity.

He was a good man and a reliable husband.

Until they realized that they couldn’t have any children.

The margrave said it was okay to not have children, but… Not for his Deltian wife.

For the Deltians, they viewed childless marriages as a shell and considered it cursed.

It was a reality that was too difficult for his wife to accept.

Eventually, his wife became less talkative and withered day by day, and the margrave had no idea what to do with her.

The answer was a child, but it wasn’t something he could give.

That made the margrave miserable, and there was nowhere to go.

Meanwhile, they became increasingly unintentionally aloof towards each other.

‘He was angry the day before his wife died.’

Whenever the topic of conversation became ‘children’, the wounds were too big for each other, hence they became a couple who irritated each other by picking on small customs.

The margrave thought he hated his wife, but really, he didn’t.

If he admitted that he loved her and that he didn’t do it well, he became so apologetic to his wife that he struggled to breathe; he couldn’t afford to live even a single day.

Therefore, he was making excuses.
Like, ‘I didn’t love her.’ If that was love, God was so cruel to man…

“It must have been the same for your wife too.
She left her hometown to marry a knight at the borders.”

“…Please stop.”

The margrave’s eyes flashed and he clenched his teeth.

I continued speaking without hesitation.

“You two were a married couple formed by heart, regardless of your roots.”

“…….”

“Your wife loved you so much, that’s why she stayed by your side until the very end.
Even though she knew that it was a marriage that was left only on the surface.”

“……Your Majesty!”

The margrave, whose eyes became red all of a sudden, said with a trembling under his eyes.

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